What is Date Rape?

What are potential warning signs?

There are several possible warning signals that your date’s intentions may not be good:

• Appearances and manners give a false sense of safety. It is not uncommon to trust someone who looks nice, dresses nice, uses manners, and talks politely. It is often thought that because of some other commonality such as going the same school or from the same hometown, that your date “clearly” can be trusted. All of this may be true with your date in that they are doing their best to impress you without other intentions, but don’t base your sense of safety on this alone.
• Your date insists on going to a secluded location. If your date is wanting to go to a secluded location, think about why. You can get to know each other and still have some privacy in public areas such walking around the mall, at a quaint café, sitting on the lawn at a campus green space.
• Your date encourages you to drink or take drugs. This is a big red flag and even more reason not to consume alcohol or drugs with your date.
• Your date tries to get you to ignore your gut feelings. Trust your instincts. You should not have to be coerced or coaxed into doing something or going somewhere. If you are uncomfortable in a situation, leave. If your gut says no, then listen to yourself.
• Your date tries to separate you from your friends. This is a type of seclusion. Isolating you from your friends may be a tactic used to eliminate any possible intervention from others.
• Your date gradually ramps up or creates a sense of self-doubt. Your date may start with small gestures like touching or a small kiss. Gauging your reaction, your date may continue to press forward with other sexualized behaviors. You may have been okay and enjoyed the touch or kiss, but that’s all you wanted. But then things press forward and suddenly one doesn’t know how things got to where they are. The offender has been grooming and creating a sense of self-doubtall along with intentions that were not made known up front.
• Others participate with creating a situation of seclusion. Sometimes the offender has some friends who will assist with isolating a person away from their friends. They have a plan to work together to isolate someone away from others. Be weary when your date’s friends seem to be helping with isolating the two of you away from others.

When you go on a date, remember

• When you’re out with an acquaintance or a date, there should not be an expected commitment to have sex just because you are on a date.
• It’s your heart and body. No one has the right to take advantage of you.
• Decide your values and limits before you go on a date. When you feel the time is right, clearly communicate these thoughts.
• You always have the right to say “NO” to any sexual contact or activity. You have the right to change your mind about any sexual activity at any time.
• If you choose to drink alcohol, know your limits, never take drinks from open containers or punch bowls, guard your drink, space out drinking, don’t drink on an empty stomach.
• Respect your date’s opinion. Listening to one another can often solve problems before they occur.
• Sexual activity should only be engaged in with consent and with someone able to give clear and conscious consent. It is not okay to take advantage of someone incapacitated by alcohol or other drugs.

Know Your Rights

Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 prohibits sex discrimination, including sexual violence, in educational programs and activities. All public and private schools, school districts, colleges and universities receiving federal funds must comply with Title IX.

If you have experienced any type of sex discrimination, including sexual violence, under Title IX your school should:

• respond promptly and effectively
• provide interim measures as necessary
• make known where you can find confidential support services
• conduct an adequate, reliable, and impartial investigation
• provide remedies as necessary

Don’t know where to turn or seek information? Confidential advocacy services are available at the Sexual and Relationship Violence Center.