Intimate Partner Violence

Checklist: Am I Being Abused?

Ask yourself the following and be honest with your responses.

Does my relationship partner:

• Act jealous and possessive, won’t let me have friends, constantly checks up on me, and/or won’t accept breaking up
• Tries to control me by being bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, and/or not taking my opinions seriously
• Puts me down in front of friends or family and/or tells me that I am nothing without him/her/them
• Scares me
• Makes me worry about his/her/their reactions to things I say or do
• Threatens me
• Uses or owns guns or other weapons
• Acts violent
• Has a history of fighting, loses his/her/their temper quickly, and/or brags about mistreating others
• Grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits me
• Pressures me for sex or is forceful or scary about sex
• Gets too serious about the relationship too fast
• Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressuresme to take them as well
• Has a history of failed relationships and/or blames the other person for all the problems
• Makes my family and friends uneasy and concerned for my safety
• Makes me feel like I need to apologize to myself or others for his/her/their behavior when he/she/they treat me badl
• Yells, swears, or manipulates me and/or spreads false or degrading rumors about me
• Tries to make me feel guilty
• Threatens to hurt me or him/hers/themself if I ever leave him/her/them
• Goes through my personal items without my consen
• Often accuses me of flirting or cheating
• Controls money and makes all financial decisions without my input
• Isolates me and keeps me from spending time with my family and friends

If you answer “yes” to two or more of the previous items, you may be in an abusive relationship or in a relationship with a high likelihood of becoming abusive.

Help is available

To learn more about campus and local resources for those affected by Intimate Partner Violence, contact the Sexual and Relationship Violence Center (SRVC) by calling (479) 575-4000 or emailing (survivor@uark.edu) or contact your local domestic violence center.

What Can You Do?

• Know the warning signs of a violent or potentially violent relationship.
• Act by making a safety plan, talking to a person you trust, such as a teacher, counselor, parent, friend, physician, police, etc.
• Realize that the violence will not stop or go away. You cannot change the abuser’s behavior and you are not responsible for the abuse.
• Be on the lookout for friends that may be in violent relationships. Be patient and supportive if they need/want help.

You don’t have to be married or living with a partner to be a victim of intimate partner violence (also known as domestic violence, dating violence, interpersonal violence, gender-based violence). Intimate partner violence is a pattern of controlling, abusive, and/or aggressive behavior used by a boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse/partner, or intimate other and may take many forms, including mental and emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, social abuse, and financial abuse. This may occur in casual dating or long-term relationships. Intimate partner violence. knows no boundaries.

Although all 50 states and the District of Columbia have laws against relationship violence, such as sexual assault, domestic violence, and stalking, the specific terms of “dating violence” and/or “relationship violence” are rarely used by these laws. However, this does not mean that this type of abuse is imagined or unreal. Help is available!

5 Things to Say to Someone in an Abusive Situation

1. I am afraid for your safety.
2. It will only get worse.
3. I am here for you when you are ready to leave.
4. You deserve better than this.
5. I am afraid for the safety of your children and/or pets.