Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships

Healthy Relationships

Signs of Healthy and Loving Relationships

• They actively listen
• They know how to share their own feelings
• They keep their word, their actions match their words
• They’re sensitive to your needs
• They support your growth
• They take conflict head on
• They remain calm and rational during conflict
• They apologize
• They respect your boundaries
• They have their own boundaries
• They compliment you and express appreciation

Examples of Healthy Relationships

• Saying “no” without guilt
• Saying “yes” because you want to and not out of obligation
• Behaving according to your values and beliefs
• Feeling safe to express difficult emotions and have disagreements
• Feeling support to pursue own goals
• Being treated as an equal
• Taking responsibility for your own happiness
• Not feeling responsible for someone else’s happiness
• Knowing who you are and believing what you like

Unhealthy Relationships

What is an unhealthy relationship?

Unhealthy relationships are based on power and control and can leave you feeling sad, afraid, lonely, worried and unsafe. It is important to be aware of the signs of unhealthy relationship behaviors, because even if they do not seem like a big deal at first, these behaviors can lead to relationship violence/abuse.

Signs of Unhealthy Relationships

There are “red flags” that may indicate a relationship is unhealthy. If you notice any of these signs with your partner, it is very possible that the relationship is not only unhealthy but may be abusive as well. Abusive relationships often get worse as time goes on. The mental and physical health consequences of maintaining abusive relationships are life altering. Consider the following red flags of abusive relationships:

• They are extremely jealous and always question if you are faithful
• They tell you how to dress or act
• They make all decisions on where you go and what you do
• They text and check up on you all the time
• They blame you if anything bad happens
• They ignore you, give you the silent treatment or hang up on you
• They lie to you, don’t show up for dates and may disappear for days
• They threaten to kill themselves if you break up with them or tell you they can’t live without you
• They experience extreme mood swings…tell you that you’re great one minute and rip you apart the next minute
• They compare you to former partners
• They don’t listen to you or show interest in your opinions or feelings
• They isolate you from family and/or friends
• They physically hurt you (push, shove, slap, hold down, spit, kick, punch, pull hair, etc.)
• They force you into sexual acts/behavior
• They tell you to shut up or tell you you’re dumb, stupid, fat or call you some other derogatory name (directly or indirectly)
• They make you feel afraid, manipulated, controlled or “crazy”
• They stalk you physically or online
• They abuse alcohol or other drugs
• They control all financial matters and decisions

Consider talking with an advocate, counselor, or a hotline if you are in an abusive relationship to learn about options and resources.